"You know, the both of you would actually make a very handsome couple if you guys weren't so fat."
-My mother on me and Alfiean

Gee thanks Ma.

I don't know whether to laugh or to cry.

I know this will probably prompt you guys into going, "No Nadiah, you're not fat at all! You're just really really curvy!" and I appreciate you guys loving me so much that you try to blind me but really, don't do it anymore okay?

"Syed, I need your help."
"What."
"I need you to tell me when I'm getting too tubby okay? I mean, I might beat you up a bit after that but you know it's for my own good."
"Ok. Nadiah, j00 are getting too tubby."

This conversation happened some time ago and he hasn't said anything since so Syed, YOU'RE FIRED. -makes jabbing cobra hand.

Kathy Smith, anyone?